The hunt for new glasses

I am pretty much blind. Even with my glasses I can't read words on the tv. And forget reading road signs until I am right up on them, too late to turn. Forget about reading them at night, it doesn't work at all.

Why is that? Why can't I get 20/20 vision with glasses? I have pondered this many times over the years. The doctors seem to think I have the right prescription, so I should be able to see, right? So, what am I doing wrong?

I think I must be answering the questions wrong. The doctor gives choices "Which is better, 1 or 2. 1 or 2. 1 or 2." And I'm thinking "Umm, which is better? I can't see out of either. Which is better? Fuzzy or blurry? Fuzzy or Blurry? Fuzzy, I'll take fuzzy! Just stop flipping the stupid lenses!" Next lenses "1 or 2? 1 or 2?" Maybe I should have gone with blurry? Shouldn't they tell you which one is better before they give you the test? Is there a book I could study? There has to be somewhere I can get the answers because I haven't passed it in 25 years, but other people can see out of their glasses 20/20.
I think I'm going to go search for the Cliff Notes now. I need new glasses.
And THEN, I have to pick the glasses themselves. I seriously do not pick my own glasses because I cannot see them on my face. I put on the frames and the gal will say "How do you like these?" well, I can't SEE them without my glasses, woman! I have to take Donnie with me to pick them out, and then I ask the lady to pick them, lol. You think I trust him to pick out something I have to wear??? Every single day???

Oh, but guess what?
I am only 4 comments away from 200 entries to my Fall, Y'all Quelf giveaway! That is my goal for today, not that I have any control over that goal....

Paper Face

I babysit 2yo twin boys. Their dad told me something that happened at their house after I told him why his boys had green finger nails and toenails.
Twin 1 wrote all over Twin 2's face with markers during nap time. Twin 2 said "I don't know why he wrote on my face, I don't even look like paper."

Thursday Thirteen~ Randomness

Thirteen Things about Lisa 1. My mom posted a really funny little something on her blog, something said by a little kiddo! Check it out for a quick giggle. 2. Love contests and giveaways? Check out my contest blog and my contest column. 3. Even with all the things that have broken down at our house lately (washer, dryer, car, furnace, freezer), I am so thankful that I have a great home, family and husband who is willing to work 6 days a week to help us get through this. 4. I am thankful that I am able to babysit for some extra income, and I am thankful it is only two days a week, but long hours so it is still good money, and I am thankful that it is for a friend and her kids are good. (though they ARE busy!) 5. I am so happy with meeting new friends via blogs. I've just been so blessed by people. 6. Oh my goodness is it ever fun to win giveaways! I won an amazing scrapbook box STUFFED with cool things, I nearly cried when I saw all the wonderful things in the box. I won a t-shirt, and you can, too. I also won a nursing necklace! And that is just in the last week. 7. Monopoly Goes Cashless, seriously, Monopoly is going to start selling their new games with credit cards and NO cash moolah. Is this wrong? How are kids going to learn real money skills and not irresponsible credit card usage? 8. A friend of mine had an 11lb even baby boy last week. Yes, he was 11 pounds! Barely fit in the bassinet! He's so yummy! 9. Why do teens turn into disrespectful know-it-alls? We show them time and time again that we are right and they are wrong but they never get it. It is apparently dumb luck that we are right more than they are? 10. Diet Dr. Pepper is just the bestest! 11. Quelf is the most amazing game! I think it is tons of fun and am so glad I found it. I want to promote it all over the place! And I have some plans in that area soon! 12. You can see my pee in a cup at To Drano, or not to Drano... seriously, lol. Only my friend Sarah or I would be that weird, right? 13. You think you are having a bad day? Think again! This guy has the award. We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink, and at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew!

Isn't he just adorable?

As I was laying in bed this morning watching my Hunter get ready to go off to work, I just fell in love all over again.

He reaches down and opens a drawer in his dresser looking for clean underwear. I know that he knows there are at least 8 pairs in there, but what he doesn't know after 2 years in this house, is which drawer HE picked for an underwear drawer, so he has to close that drawer and open the next one. It just melted my heart!

About 1/2 an hour later he calls me on his cell. "Umm, I was driving and looked down and saw a grocery bag on the floor and wondered if you'd packed me a lunch, because I don't remember you packing me a lunch. But I found 2 packs of macaroni and cheese, some ranch dip and some dry onion soup mix. I don't think thats much of a lunch for me." At this point he's kind of snickering because he thinks I've left some groceries in his car last night. Then the cuteness kicks in. "Hmm, sounds like the bag of groceries I had on the table this morning that had me thinking about supper, which is why I was taking the chicken out of the fridge before you left. Apparently you grabbed the bag on your way out the door. And now you have OUR lunch with you."

(he was sweetly calling because he wanted to know if I needed that stuff that I left in his car)

Freaky dude

Last night we were eating supper together and going around the table telling something that happened in each of our lives that day. Its a fun way to hear what happens with the kids, usually. But last night Donnie got the award for freakiest event.

Donnie and his co-worker, John, went to some guitar place so Donnie could ask about our recently breaking guitars. On the way out John tells Donnie this enormous, 6+foot tall guy had been checking Donnie out. Eww, right?? Yeah, so the guy follows them out to the car, just happens to be parked next to them, so he can get his coat in the 75 degree weather! John is such a great friend that he wouldn't unlock the door for Donnie to get in while the guy was there. Nice friend, huh?

Donnie said he didn't care if I posted that. Its kinda creepy and kinda funny. Well, a LOT creepy, but funny, too.

A little end of week humor!

I've been so busy and stressed out this week that I haven't had time on the computer, and yesterday one of my children was on my computer almost all day doing online school work, so I couldn't get on to post my Thursday Thirteen. I've thought about doing it today, but I'll wait.
Trinity seems to be potty trained. There have been accidents, but many good days, and no more playing in her po*p. We have to go and see her droppings on the toilette and do the Po*py Dance, but that's a small price to pay to not have to scrub it off walls.
Sam, at 4.5 months, is getting teeth. They come and go, and bother him a lot, but have not broke through. I don't want them to come for a few more months, but I'd rather they come through than torture him.

Ok, I promised humor, so I really should deliver, right?
My dd is in a small group of girls with a group leader. The girls love her so much, I can't even tell you how much. It borders on worship, lol. So, leader tells Kaytlin that she has to show up to church on Saturday and help roll bandages for a missionary thingy. As they are working Leader says to Kaytlin "Remember the movie we watched on Wednesday? Well, you be the concubine! Be the concubine!" Kaytlin is just loving this encouragement, right? So, this other lady in the church gets this horrified look on her face! She can't believe this is just said! So she says "Leader, do you know what a concubine is? Its a prostitute!" So Leader and Kaytlin are laughing so hard that they are both in tears. Here is why:
Last week our youth group watched the movie "Harvest" which is about some family, a dad dying, farm needs to be harvested, and the son suddenly hears a thunder as things seem hopeless, and all these combines start coming down the road to help them.
She meant to say "Be the combine!" Now she has to stick with "Be the tractor." because even explaining it she still says concubine!
So, Sunday I find her in the nursery, and we are alone. I say to her "Leader, I need to talk to you about something you've said to the girls." She takes a deep breath, sits down, lets it out and says "Ok." I said "I hear you have been telling our daughters to be concubines." She busted out laughing! It was great!
If that wasn't funny enough, here's something else.

Minnesota Women
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
The first man had married a Woman from Colorado and had told her that she was going to do dishes and housecleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Nebraska. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a girl from Minnesota. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned,dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the dishwasher.

Name Game

I stole this from kitkat...

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Lisa

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name, plus izzle)
Lisizzle

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three of your last)
Lped

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Pink Pomeranian

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, Street you live on):
Dawn 8th Ave.

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name)
Pedlihan

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (favorite color, favorite drink)
Pink Pepper

8. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad’s middle name, 1st letter of a sibling’s first name, last letter of your moms middle name)
Idwaley

9. YOUR STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/body spray)
Long Ago (Seriously! LOL)

10. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father’s middle name)
Gay William

Rememberings #2 Things Drew has done

Things Drew has done over the years.

Drew is a little stinker. He started out a very cute, sweet baby. He was a happy fella. Then he turned 1 ½.

He used to hate being left anywhere. Then he decided he never wanted to return home and would scream all the way home from whereever we were leaving. One time someone even stopped me to make sure he wasn't injured or kidnapped! Another time I was in premature labor and not allowed to pick him up, so I had to hold onto a tiny bit of hair so that he wouldn't throw himself on the ground or run off on me because he didn't want to leave the playground.

He drank everything. There was no place to put things he couldn't reach. And 17 years ago you didn't have access to as many child locks as you do now, and not overseas, and no internet for the most part. He drank a bottle of infant Tylenol. He drank his sister's albuterol. He drank a bottle of Windex with Vinegaurd. (same symptoms as the flu, and not nearly as big a deal as the Tylenol!)

Did I mention nowhere was safe from Drew? He superglued his eye OPEN.

While we were getting ready to go somewhere, he took his blow-up swimming pool and went for a walk. A friend was staying with us and happened to be out for a walk and found him! We had been searching all over for him!

He liked to break my vase collection one by one.

He liked to color things blue. I woke up to blue handprints on my back one morning. And blue lines on my walls and head board and hallway. Not to mention the Little boy blue....... incident.

He also had a knack for bumping his head. Always had goose eggs.

He tried to "help" me iron one day and burned his hand really bad. It blistered. My cousin told him it was teenage mutant ninja turtle ooze in there, so he popped it. She was no longer the favorite cousin.

When he was 7 he told me "When I grow up I'm going to save the rainforest." I asked him why, since we are not "tree-huggers." He replied in all seriousness "Well, I have a mom and 2 sisters and I plan to get married one day, and the cocoa bean grows there. We don't want to run out of chocolate." Seriously. I didn't know whether to laugh, or cry because I am that bad.

Drew has been a preacher/evangelist since he was 4. Telling people in bank lines about Jesus, and friends very feminist minded mom's about Jesus, anyone who would listen got to hear. He's still doing it, too.